Find You Here

Written on May 21

“I didn’t know I’d find You here
In the middle of my deepest fear”

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*I couldn’t resist sharing this video with you before it goes public! Here is a preview of our family photos taken a few weeks ago (Jill HowellRaindancer Studios) Obsessed does not begin to describe our love of these images. *Disclaimer:
I have been unsuccessful in finding the right video format that does not pixelate the images when publishing/posting online! The original is crystal clear, but does not post that way.
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Fear: a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

Fear is common. We’ve all faced fear. Fear of a test, fear of an interview, fear of public speaking, fear of your alarm clock not going off so you set a backup, and a backup to the backup, and then ask your husband to set his too (who is with me?!). Fear of change, fear FOR your children, fear of clowns (Lauren Hale Eubanks), fear of the dark, fear of being alone, fear of rejection, disappointment, failure, death…the list goes on and on.

What I’ve learned about my most recent fears: When fear takes ahold of me, my ability to think rationally vanishes. Simple decisions all of a sudden become impossible, life becomes overwhelming, emotions are consuming, and the promises of God are quickly forgotten. Walls go up, boxing gloves are tightened, and I begin to flail and grasp for anything I can control. The bible talks a lot about fear, because it can pull you away from God. Fear can make you feel like you are alone. Fear can make you feel like God doesn’t care. Isn’t that exactly what Satan wants? He wants us to abandon our faith, wreck our lives, and bring as much destruction as possible.

As I’ve concentrated a lot on my fear lately, it hit me hard that fear always has a response. When you fear something where do you go or what do you do? You seek shelter or safety, right? Or you put on those gloves, step left, jab right and take that clown down for the count! Who or what is my shelter, my safety, my refuge in the storm? Who is my strength, my defender?

“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).

I don’t want my fear to paralyze and control me. I want to turn and run to God, finding shelter in Him. I want to trust Him in the midst of this storm, letting go of my desire to control and trust Him to be everything I need. If anyone has figured out how to do this well, I’m listening! We are committed to navigating this path the best way we can…some days we do that very well, and other days we just survive. Thank goodness God’s grace is sufficient. We sure need a lot of grace these days.

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